Self Preservation Society Tour......... Sitrep.
Woke to the 'smell of revolution' in the air this morning, then realised it was just a pair of Parker Jon's undies slowly melting through the the floor of the van. Eventually dragged my arse out of the tent to find we were slowly being encircled by French police in full riot gear. What they must have thought of all the England fans, slowly emerging from camper vans, with boxer shorts at half mast on their asses, hands shoved down the front, half asleep, eyes like proverbial piss holes and half eaten baguettes stuck to their faces, I will never know. To be honest, a collection of school kids could have rounded us up in seconds.
It appears UEFA wanted our area to park their corporate coaches in and had found a very nice refuse dump which they wanted us to move to. So began an entertaining morning of political debate, with ever increasing senior members of police, local officials, and UEFA dignitaries. The police and local mayor representatives were superb and listened to our points and agreed when we asked about facilities & logistics of movement etc.
I think it was the general opinion of all involved, from both sides of the argument, that the UEFA officials were complete arrogant wankers.
It started to become obvious that we were onto a looser and were going to get moved on if we did not change our tactics...... so we all started to get pissed so we could not drive! However it appears that if UEFA want a carpark, drink driving becomes safe and allowable to the French authorities.
They moved us to a children's play ground (fact!)
50 families enjoying themselves in a kids playground and the police put 1000 drink driving England fans right next to them. the facilities for those fans you ask?? No toilets, no water, no power for vans, 5 mile from the city, 1 bus into town every hour. ......1 portaloo did arrive, the guy dropped it off, padlocked the door n left!
Went into town and had a 500 aside game of footie on the Lens high street. I saw an opportunity for glory when a high ball was dropping towards me, begging to be volleyed.....so I dropped my beer and did the greatest air shot in history... missed by a mile and landed smack on my arse; this prompted the obvious chorus of abuse from about 2000 people.
Great partying with the Welsh boys, no trouble at all.
Match day tomorrow