Self Preservation Society Tour............Sitrep

Day 4.

Je Sui le rock star........

'Chuckle 1' Touched down in Marseille

'Chuckle 1' Touched down in Marseille

 Sleeping arrangements were dictated by the van only sleeping one heterosexual male without eyebrows being raised; we alternate nights with one sleeping outside under the stars and the other in 'Champion the Wonder Van'. It was my night outside and I was awoken at approximately 3 in the morning by a hedgehog trying to shag my left ear. I can assure one and all, that to wake up like this is a CONSIDERABLY more alarming and emotional experience than it sounds..... myself and the hedgehog have exchanged e mail addresses though.


Parker Jon emerged from the van about 7 ish, looking like Golem on ketamine and released a flow of noxious gas from from inside that would give 'Zyklon B' a run for its money. A mellow morning of troughing and general administration was followed with a little jaunt to the supermarche for supplies.

Headed into central Marseille around midday and aimed for the Irish pubs were England fans were gathering in numbers (of course?). Managed to find a prime spot to give the flag its first appearance and settled in for a cracking afternoon of alcohol abuse and chatting to all an sundry. Atmosphere was jovial and light hearted and as the afternoon progressed the songs started and increased in volume.

It started to become obvious that the police were not happy with our little social group and they decided it was time to end the party. First all pubs suddenly shut for "1 hour", and the police blatantly started to don their riot gear in plain view of everyone. This generated the expected response from a few of the 'greater unwashed' members of the England fans and a FEW well aimed bottles tested the textile strength of the coppers helmets.

A picture that featured in news reports world wide

A picture that featured in news reports world wide

In reply a double volley of tear gas canisters landed among us followed by a wave of police squads and a second wave of reporters and cameramen, keen to catch the shot they had been waiting for all day! This all achieved its aim by dispersing the majority of fans, however it's also presented an opportunity for about 30-50 'Russian fans' to pile in behind the police and news crews and deliver their message of solidarity to the unfortunate England fans chocking on CS gas! The whole thing had the appearance of what a cynic would call choreographed?? It also appears our flag with my name plastered all over it, is on the front page of the sun (infamy...they've all got it infamy)

Left the war zone behind (having recovered the flag), and headed to the fan camp to watch the opening game. Myself and Parker Jon managed to get a whole bus load of French fans singing an England song as we drove there and it was a great party atmosphere. All the French were being far to civilised watching the game, so we managed to get more England songs going and just partied the night away.

Don't believe what you read in the papers, the trouble in Marseille was an orchestrated event and not started by the 'partying' England Fans. Having spent 14 years in the Army, I know a soldier when I see one and the 'Rioting Russian fans' had military written all over them.