Self Preservation Society Tour .........Sitrep day 2+3
It's been a very blurry 48 hours due to a very looooooong drive and then an equally long 'sclurpage' session once we had arrived in Marseilles. But to give a quick overview......
Met Parker Jon under the clock at Waterloo Stn at 10:00 hrs, I was wearing a red carnation and carrying a copy of the times, whilst he was sporting a stupid face mounted on the front of his daft head.
Picked up the van just down the road from the station and we were on route at 11:00. At 11:01 (True fact) we were stopped by the police less than a mile from the rental place, in the first of what is now appearing to be a conspiracy against us. It's obvious they have been told to be on the look out for two blokes trying to hide in plain site, by driving a painted van decorated in England flags, which stands out almost as much as the boil that Jon is cultivating on the end of his nose.
Quick stop to stock up on food (£80), sundries (£30) and beer (£737.50). Then we hoofed it down to Dover, during which time and on arrival at, we were pulled a further couple of times by the police, who are obviously concerned for our safety.
We got put on to an earlier ferry which was cool and landed about 7 ish frog time. During the crossing we had made the sensible decision to do the 668 miles from Calais to Marseille in one go and so began a journey which became an endurance run and a half!
Catching the early ferry had put us a couple of hours ahead of schedule, which was nice! However, the clever dumb balance was soon restored when, just as we were about to leave one of the very nice motorway rest stops, we were approached by a lad from Leeds who asked us if we had any diesel, as he had just ran out of fuel in his camper van?. It turns out there were four of them in the van and the guy who had spoke to us was the driver; his mates who were in the back of the camper were completely and utterly spannered!
Unfortunately our offer to drive them to the nearest garage, turned into a two hour tour of the local area in an attempt to fine a garage that was manned which would enable the guys to buy a petrol can as well as petrol. This quest proved fruitless and we eventually dropped Daz an Dave back at the van to consider another way round the problem. The remaining two guys in the van were by now so pissed they didn't care if the van was on fire, let alone out of fuel.
The journey continued and after what seemed like forever we were only half way!!! After even more forever, a few stops, multiple driver changes and lots of loud music we arrived in Marseille at approx 11:00 hours.
In order to obtain a spot in a campsite we used 'Tact', 'Diplomacy' & 'Ignorance'.
The following conversation happened over a 30 minute period...... "No we are full........(tact).......".you can stay tonight only, then you go"............(diplomacy)......" Tonight and tomorrow I squeeze you in then you must go".......(ignorance).........."OK you stay 3 nights, I put you in same bay as other English if you find someone OK with this?"..... (More diplomacy with a light sprinkling of ignorance)...." Hey you stay no problem, would you like to sleep with my wife?).
Headed into Marseille and got spannered with a couple of hundred English fans and four mad Russians......loads of English will arrive within next 24 hours....100000 plus?
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